Review: Weezer's Raditude

The Disclosure: I've been trying to avoid the hype [or really, anti-hype] over this album, but I have read The Onion AV Club review and the Wikipedia article.

The Breakdown:
Like the Snuggie that comes packaged with certain editions of Raditude, this album doesn't seem to know if it is a seriously marketed product, or some kind of inside joke that you can't laugh at. It's become fashionable to lament over the perceived lack of quality coming from Weezer these days, but it's not without merit. Like most other people, Blue and Pinkerton formed part of my high school life, and I am even willing, unlike some fans, to accept Green and Maladroit. However, there's a lack of sincerity here I can't help but pick up on, and much of Raditude sounds hollow and forced, just like its name. It's a boring album that sadly, takes some intestinal fortitude to complete in one sitting.

The biggest problem with this album is a conflict between Rivers's attempts to come off as socially awkward a la "Why Bother?" while maintaining the Party Man façade from "Beverly Hills". A prime example of this is "I'm Your Daddy", in which he says he "thought tonight would suck like every other night / I'd party with my friends." But in the same song, he talks about his willingness to defeat a Goomba. Where's our friend from "In The Garage" that seemed totally cool with having a Kitty Pryde poster hanging up and wanted nothing more than to enjoy alone time? Fans want him back. Sure, lyricists evolve, but fans want at least some consistency. Arguably, the main reason people like their favorite band is because they identify with the lyrical content and the narrator in the songs. With Weezer, we don't have the socially [pardon the pun] maladroit lyrics we used to get, and that's a problem.

Really, we don't get much of anything at all. Many of the lyrics on this album simply sound silly. I think we can ignore lines like "bluffin' with my muffin" from artists like Lady Gaga, who, like it or not, are masters of disposable pop. Perhaps that's where Rivers wants to go, but with an esteemed songwriter like Cuomo, you cannot ignore what might be the worst bridge in music history, from "In The Mall": "Take the elevator to the escalator ride it down and start again!" Who signed off on this? Of course, what can you expect from a song with a title that reminded me of Robin Sparkles/Scherbatsky's "Let's Go To The Mall"? While there might be some songs, such as "Put Me Back Together" that aren't as cringe-worthy, it's hard to keep listening when complete and utter bombs such as these keep coming, and not even the vocals or music can justify them.

Which brings me to another point: as of late, Cuomo's voice has taken a whiny, infuriating edge. To make up for this, he seems to have adopted a kind of rapping that honestly sucks. I'm not adverse to enjoying hip-hop, but there's a difference between Astronautalis laying down rhymes and Rivers half-heartly throwing together forced monologues that sound as if he consulted a rhyming dictionary for the last word with little regard for the rest of the sentence.

Also, where is the Marshall crunch that made the first three albums such a textural enjoyment? Blue's charm came mainly from the lyrics, sure, but you can't deny that the music itself is good. These days, drummer Patrick Wilson seems to be playing second banana to a drum machine. Even as late as the snore-fest known as Make Believe, songs had... gasp! Drums! Oh, oh and... guitars that were distorted! The songs on this album, like Red, all sound alike. Indeed, it would be hard to even tell the two albums apart. There's little innovation or uniqueness on this album, and that used to be a strong point of this band. There's no riffs, no truly memorable melodies -- nothing. Oh, sure, you'll find yourself humming the chorus of the first track, but instead of being pleasantly surprised, you'll be disappointed and frustrated that something so vapid found its way into your head.


Blow By Blow:
1. "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To" -- Okay, so the song title is kind of clever, if a little long. It's overly bouncy, and instead of acoustic guitar, I'd like some distortion. The lyrics do sound somewhat, superficially, like classic Weezer, but overall, quality isn't as good.

2. "I'm Your Daddy" -- Just stop with the drum machine and the faux-rapping. Please. It sounds very amateurish, and just plain silly. Also, please stop the overly masculine posturing, as whatever joke you might be trying to perpetuate is not funny. I can see where you might be making attempts at satire, but I'm not really getting the point.

3. "The Girl Got Hot" -- Why does this song exist?

4. "Can't Stop Partying" -- I can't keep saying this enough: no one gets the satire. It's admirable that Lil' Wayne makes an appearance, but I wish he would teach Rivers how to bust rhymes. Actually, I'd rather Wayne just advise him to leave the rapping to the experts.

5. "Put Me Back Together" -- I actually like this song. I think it's the only one that doesn't come across as overly trite. It was during this song, however, that I really wanted to give up listening to this album straight through. Weezer albums should not be torturous.

6. "Tripping Down The Freeway" -- Sigh. Even the guitar solos that do appear sound hackneyed.

7. "Love Is The Answer" -- Sounds like it belongs on Make Believe. I can't help but think that the female vocals were really recorded backwards in English and mock the listener.

8. "Let It All Hang Out" -- Rivers, don't try to be The Boss. You weren't sitting in traffic, you don't go out and party with your friends. Vitamin Water and Great Recession references date this song severely, and the Jay-Z name drop is very out of place. Also, avoid terms like "freakin' jerk" -- it sounds like a snippet of "Family Guy" dialog. Again, maybe that's what you were going for. Whatever.

9. "In The Mall" -- Oh my Sweet Baby Christ Jesus. I'm glad you decided to incorporate some guitar riffs, but this pseudo-metal thing really isn't what I was asking for. Again, the bridge is truly awful.

10. "I Don't Want To Let Go" -- By this point, I'm more than ready.


Final Verdict:
Weezer went from being a rock band to a pop band. Again, perhaps that's where Rivers wants to head, but it's going to be hard for too many people to follow him. If you liked Red, you might like this one; otherwise, skip. It's a frustrating listen with little compensation.